I feel guilty. I haven’t blogged in two solid weeks. I was on a great streak- feeling inspired and fulfilling a goal of blogging every day. Then I went on a two week business trip, and didn’t blog once while I was gone.
Was I out doing amazing things while I was gone? Some of the days. I had the opportunity to work two really fun volleyball events, meet celebrities that were playing and other professional athletes…I got to work with my team that I don’t get to see as often, now that I don’t live in Los Angeles anymore. I went hiking in Runyon Canyon, one of my most favorite places. I ate the freshest sushi and a more delicious burrito than I can get here in Chicago. I swam, tanned, shopped and worked. Hard. Often.
Then I traveled to Boulder for a meeting with my entire client team, as well as my bosses. People flew in from around the country and we learned, planned, presented, ate and visited.
There certainly was time for blogging. I certainly thought about blogging. But I thought more about not blogging. I have always been vocal about making a case for not creating editorial calendars, preferring to “let inspiration strike” and find blogging topics from being fully engaged and present within my online communities. But can you also be fully present, and stock up topics to write about when you’re “busy” and not fully inspired to write? Or for the times you’re out living your life so completely and are so present that you’ve got the ideas in advance? Don’t I always tell people “You’re never too busy. You make the time for things that are important to you?” I’m big on consistency – I tell my clients it’s one of the most important items in your marketing plan. So where was my consistency in blogging?
Would it be an excuse to say that during these two weeks I was making new experiences to come back and blog about? Isn’t that what THIS blog is about, after all?! Or, and this would be the most surprising to me, am I actually a creature of habit? Someone that can only write if I’m sitting in this office, in this chair, in my own home? Can I only write here? Whoa. Isn’t the unpredictability of life as a marketing director what drew me to marketing in the first place? How many interviews have I gone to, and how many late night discussions with others in my industry have I had where we’ve all sung the praises of our lives and chosen career, for it NOT being the same every day? Not knowing precisely where we’d be or what we’d be doing each day?
Perhaps it’s egotistical to feel guilt for not having blogged. Perhaps none of you even noticed. This blog isn’t my job. I do it for fun, to share ideas I hear people talking about wanting to know more about, to muscle up my writing, the same way I do when I run or lift weights. I wasn’t overwhelmed with work while on this extended trip, nor was blogging not a priority. I simply didn’t write. I don’t have a deep explanation for why I didn’t, nor do I want to make any excuses. I have read many blogs where the writers have apologized for not writing or posting in the past week, month or longer. They report feelings of guilt over that, too. Should we be feeling guilty for something we do for fun? Should “fun” make us feel bad, when we’re not doing anything wrong? At all? Doesn’t every single workout plan in the history of workout plans tell you to take rest days? Should bloggers not get that same break, without feeling poorly about themselves for taking it?
This blog isn’t an obligation, nor would I continue it if it ever began to feel as such. I don’t post every day just for the sake of it. Even during my “blog every day” goal period, I would miss one day at times, (but never more than one) if I wasn’t inspired, or didn’t feel I had anything to say that was different than everything else that was being blogged about, or if I didn’t think I had anything to put out that might help someone. I woke up this morning excited to write. Excited to share these thoughts, get them down on paper, and the idea of people responding and sharing their own thoughts with me on taking blogging breaks and discussing these ideas with others excited me. Isn’t that what blogging is really all about? The creating and sharing of ideas?
I’ve written the line “I have a renewed passion for writing and my blog” and then deleted it a few times. What if I don’t blog again this week? What if nothing inspires me enough to write about? What if these last two weeks were too long of a break and my (creative/writing) muscle memory has been lost? Why am I feeling anxious about blogging tomorrow, and not relaxing in finding the joy blogging today?!
Maybe it all comes down to acceptance. How many things do I feel guilty about RIGHTTHISSECOND? How many do YOU? Not working out enough, eating that chocolate chip cookie, even though it was the best thing I’ve ever eaten, not blogging enough…can we even feel guilty for feeling guilty for any of these things? Are any of these things all that significant in the grand scheme of our very full lives? No. Truly, they’re not. We deserve to be happy. And do things that make us feel GOOD, not guilty. Today, I will work on doing more of those things.